This doesn’t only happen to me, as it turns out. Recently my friend described this situation where she and her husband found themselves at home, alone. This friend has three children who fill up their lives and home with activity. But one night, *poof* all the children were gone. They had somehow all made plans elsewhere and there were two parents left in a home, left to wonder what they should do? Nobody needed managing, help, scheduling, cleaning, feeding, interacting, intervening, or engaging.
So this is supposed to be the moment where the two parents say, “Whew! Let’s bask in this, our alone time, because it’s far too rare!” Then they fall into each other’s arms and have some earth-shattering times together, be it in conversation, or otherwise.
But my friend described feeling rather uncomfortable. She and her husband sort of meandered around the home until they found some errands that needed to be done, and then did them. Surprisingly, that same day, yet another friend brought up exactly the same situation, and her feeling that same sort of displaced and hyper-aware feeling of being ALONE with her husband. And that feeling? It isn’t unknown to me, I’ve been there too.
So I can only believe that we are not three freaks feeling something unique, but that this is a pretty common occurence. Here’s my take – when Anson and I plan a date, to get out of the house for a few hours, it feels great. But it’s always a little weird to come home to an empty home. If our son is at a sleepover, or goes out without us to a birthday party, home just feels a little foreign and quiet. Too quiet, as they say in the horror flicks right before someone gets murdered.
So is this trouble? Before we had kids we were alone, and knew how to be alone. How is it that it changes so dramatically? Is it weird that so much of our relationship has become what we do with the kid/s and not what we do together? Or is it just the normal course of things, because we are actually no longer two, but three (soon to be five. FIVE!)?