Speedy Delivery! (No, not the babies, yet)

[Special note from Jodi: I was lucky enough to get to review the BumpIt Up Bliss Pre-Natal Package at the completely spectacular Peninsula Spa.  Check out my review at Momtrends!]

When I first moved to New York with my family, my sister Lori had already been here for a few years.  Of course, I had, too.  I mean, I lived here in my late teens and early twenties, but then had to sianara this wicked little town to pull my head out of a certain stupor it landed in due to this, that and the other thing.  (Which is, by the way, one of my favorite NYC sayings. “This, that and the other thing”, usually articulated in between snaps of gum in a thick-as-syrup accent and with no sign of what this, that or the other thing are.  Catchy though – use it like this, “She was getting on my last nerve, complaining about this, that and the other thing.”    See?  Pistols + Popcorn is an edumacational website.  A+ for everyone who begins using the phrase on the regular.)

So, when I moved here again for Part II of my Living in New York story, this time with my family, I was surprised to find that my sister had started ordering things on the internet.  She ordered shoes from Zappos, furniture from Crate & Barrel, books from Amazon and groceries from Fresh Direct.  “But you live in New York.”  I had to protest.  “People come here from thousands of miles away to shop in stores.  New York stores.  You can internet shop in Utah.”  It made no sense to me.  In fact, it offended me just a bit.

But of course, if you fast forward to me today, it’s a different story.  Five years later, I am sitting on my couch, in my pajamas, afraid to take a shower lest I miss a delivery scheduled for today from the delivery trifecta: FedEx, UPS, and USPS, which are all scheduled to knock on my door today, with booty and bounty for yours truly.

We have rain boots on their way for Roan, a Halloween Costume for Roan, prezzies from my homie in Cali The Biter, a nursing pillow for tandem twin nursing (Which I’m going to consider turning into a competitive sport.  It just sounds like that much fun), an unspecified package from an unspecified sender which has been attempted to be delivered here once before, and the big ultimate dog – six boxes from a company I’m trying to get sainted as they are sending me their product to review.  A product I need.  A product that takes SIX boxes.  More on that later.

I know, right?

The moral of the story is that I’ve found out that the greatest expression of being a true New Yorker is not to frequent its many beautiful and diverse stores, but to have everything brought to your doorstep.  Of course – I’m not a true New Yorker so I get my feet pounding the tough pavement more often than not, because I’m still starstruck at each beautiful building and busy street and the smell of Nuts 4 Nuts.  I’ve just retreated, a bit because I’m full of babies and am worried that my belly with startle the citizens of the city.  Let’s face it: New Yorkers are tough and gritty, but a freakshow is still a freakshow.

Also?  The doc told me at the last appointment that these little ducks are sideways.  YAY for my children, chosing the most messed up position to hang out in.  I mean, breach is fine, vertex is fine.  Whatever.  But this sideways biz is giving me a backache.  I think I’m going to go stand on my head in the corner to see if that motivates them to move.  Hopefully the rush of blood to my head will not prevent me from hearing my front door buzzer.

7 thoughts on “Speedy Delivery! (No, not the babies, yet)

  1. Alright, the title did get me at first. I thought today was the day. Then I thought how is she posting? LOL.

    I’m a native New Yorker, and you’re right about delivery. From coffee beans to groceries to my daughter’s lunches, it’s all brought to my doorstep. But the shops are not ignored! That’s where we go for the special things. I’m buying my sneakers from Zappos, but my Jimmy Choos are coming from the source!

    Don’t stand on your head for too long. I’m not sure what the results could be. Can’t wait to see your review of your mystery 6 boxes.

  2. So the upshot is that I’m right, amIright?
    Just checking.

    Listen. When you are your car and your tote is your trunk, this, that, and the other get to ride in big brown van.

  3. I didn’t have twins and she was breech, not sideways, but if you have access to a pool, it did wonders for me. Do a couple tumbles and it might help.
    Preggo too, and sympathize with the backache!

  4. Hey brilliant, this has been a awesome help to me, I have had some really strange annoyances in my private life recently and it is strange how certain things can really pick you back up or make you lose focus on the horrible things and get working on the other things in life. Anyway thank you so much.

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