First things first. I am so so so happy for my big brother, Elden. Known as Fat Cyclist to the world, he has been writing for years and kept his audience alternately in stitches and tears. From his own battle to lose weight, to his late wife’s epic battle against cancer, Elden has laced every event with linings of laughter, meaning, and soul. He is such a talented writer, and he comes by it naturally. Last night his site, Fat Cyclist, won the Lifetime Achievement Award in the 2011 Bloggies. This is huge, this is a very big deal. I’m super proud of him today – and want to say a big fat congratulations to the (not-so) Fat Cyclist.
Now, let’s get back to me.
I did not win any freaking Bloggie not that I wanted to. Nope. All those mentions I made asking for votes and such were just hyperbole. Yep. I mean c’mon. The Pioneer Woman needs a few more awards before she attains World Domination so losing to her is just my way of helping her take over the universe. We all do our part. (Actually, really and in all seriousness – I think Ree has a truly amazing style and site and deserves all the hype she gets. Also, she’s just so damn likable. So. Can’t hate on her. In fact, I think I voted for her and against myself. She’s just that awesome.)
Now, more about me.
Last week was brutal. Ok, it wasn’t that bad. Anticipating last week was brutal. I don’t mind surgery so much. Let’s face it – after the past two years, my abdomen getting cut open and sewn up is old hat.(And damn, does it look good!) But what I was worried about this time was the fact that I have two babies who need to be picked up, carried, and put down about one zillion times in a day. And doing that takes some abdominal strength. So how was I going to do that with a belly full of mesh sewn into the muscle and sliced and diced? Add to that the surprise element that Anson had to go out-of-town for a week, two days after my surgery and I was a little flustered. Night time is hard enough with a husband on my team. How could I ever survive Me vs. The Twins, PM edition, Post-Operative edition, Minus a Husband edition?
Then my family rallied. The mother got all organized and coerced (didn’t actually take any coercion) Elden to use some of his mojo to fly Kellene (the boss of us all) to Brooklyn to stay with me and help out. Add to the mix that I already have a Lori, and I was not only set up, I was SET UP.
It is profound how much being taken care of matters sometimes. And it is equally profound how much it means to the person being looked after. I have historically had a really hard time letting people help me out. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?)I have been handed circumstance after circumstance over the past two years where I needed to rely on friends and family. I’ve needed them for emotional support, childcare support, logistical support. It seems like I am destined to learn one way or another that it is not Me vs. The World – that I have an amazingly capable and willing army of friends and family around, behind and constantly with me.
And this past week was just amazing. Not brutal. For instance – one morning, Kellene got the babies from me before I got out of bed and told me to sleep a little longer. When I got out of bed at 9 AM, the babies were fed and asleep, Roan was eating a healthy breakfast and had showered, the house was super clean….and was that bread I smelled baking in the oven? Yes. Yes it was. I almost cried. On another morning, Lori came and picked Kellene, Smith and Sheppard up and took them to a mommy/baby yoga class. This gave me time to spend the morning and afternoon with just Roan, something that I needed and wanted desperately to do. We snuck off to a movie and ate pizza together. He held my hand the whole time and I actually cried – again – maybe from the Elton John soundtrack to Gnomeo + Juliet. But more likely just because I was so grateful that I have this family. My own little family I’ve made with Anson, and my family I grew up with, who have never stopped looking out for me.
So it’s not too shocking how sad I felt to say good-bye to Kellene. That’s the downside of having someone who is so positive, loving and caring be around. When they leave, there’s an absence. She filled my home up with activity and warmth and helped me not feel alone at all in my efforts to take care of my family. But she got me through the week where I couldn’t do it on my own to the week where I actually could. And fortunately, Lori stayed around and kept me company until Anson finally got home.
As for the healing – well, true to my nature I sort of overdid it. Ended up ripping a few stitches out and got a mild scolding from the doctor when I went for my check-up. He reinforced them and actually even super glued the skin. But I imagine that’s probably the best I could do. These boys weren’t going to escape without hugs from their mama, even if it took a minor toll on my already wacked abdomen.
Have I said this before? I feel so lucky. So lucky, so loved.