My baby boy Sheppard laughed today. A big full-on undeniable belly laugh. I have been anticipating this with all my heart – and working really working for it. I tickle. I sing. I dance. I make crazy raspberry-noises. I am an idiot in the finest fashion, for the most noble cause. A baby’s laugh is worth being a fool for.
But it was this guy that coaxed it. And before you say it, I know what you’re thinking: what a weird toy. I mean, it kind of looks…like…a….
Mushroom, right? That’s what you were going to say, what with the feet, the long body, the head – yep. Mushroom. Imagine that. What will they make kids toys look like next? Anyway, this guy whose name is Chan, makes a squeaky sound that apparently is totally giggle worthy. Shep totally lost it for Chan. So now, Chan is my new best homie. Big day here. Smith is less impressed with Chan. Chan can not be all things to all people. Chan knows that. Chan is ok with that.
On a different note, have you ever had an experience where you’re a total moron? Hi, have you met me? This is my world.
Sunday I went to the Brooklyn Baby Expo, arranged by A Child Grows in Brooklyn. Aside from having all the latest greatest baby guru gear and such, there was a nursing lounge. Obviously with the twins in tow, I was destined to visit. As I entered the lounge, I realized it was sharing space with Babeland, a NYC sex toy shop. HA! HA! HA! I thought – now whomever organized this has a sense of humor. People can be checking out these gadgets and toys while us mama’s are on the couch nursing – it’s like a living breathing art installation/cautionary tale! Sex leads to babies!! Beware! And twins…..?!?! Well. I saw more than a few people look at me and immediately pick up a condom.
I sat down on the nursing couch, and got the babies all latched on. I fancy myself to be a bit of a Tom-Cruise-a-la-Cocktail character with nursing these guys. A flip here, a spin there, behind the back over the shoulder and voilà! Twins are latched on! A woman walked over from the Babeland table, and sat next to me. She was wearing a name-badge which I saw but did not read. Obviously she’s with Babeland. Probably bored. Wants to talk.
So talk I did. All about sex. I mean, this is what she does, right? And I’m no prude I can talk sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. (Can’t wait to see who drops by this post directed from Google. Sorry guys. Probably not what you were hoping for. Anyways…) It’s not that I got graphic or obscene or anything like that, but you know. Just the ol’ “When in Rome” mentality, or more to the point, “When Hanging Out With a Lady From Babeland” mentality. She eventually moved on to the next nursing woman on the couch and as I was getting ready to leave the room, I heard her introduce herself….
“I’m the lactation consultant….”
But at least we know what it takes to get a belly laugh from me. That would be this.