Don’t Bother Faking It, I’m A Sucker

Roan is home today. Staying home from school. Yup, poor kid. Except, he’s not actually sick. Sure sure sure the first thing he said to me this morning was “I feel like I’m going to throw-up” but after a bowl of cereal he felt better. Still, I had already told him he could stay home from school, though he had no fever. No cough. No other symptoms. I said that, because I am a sucker.

And sure enough I could have sent him on his way after his miraculous recovery, but I just didn’t have the heart. I remember how exhilarating it is to get away with staying home from school when you’re not actually sick. It is a golden and shining moment in childhood. And who am I to deny my son this moment? I mean, besides his mother. Whose job it is to put an end to these types of shenanigans. But, did I mention I’m a sucker? Truth.

I did tell Roan that he didn’t have to pretend to be sick for the rest of the day. He’s home free, he can relax and enjoy. However, there is a stipulation: he must create something for you, my readers, to enjoy. No other guidance from me on the matter, this is pure Roan. So, with no further blah blah blah from the sucker mother, heeeeeeere’s Roan’s first Pistols + Popcorn entry!

Writer. Caps lock abuser. Faker. Genius.

ONE DAY A GIANT WENT TO TURKEY ON A AIRPLANE.SO HE WENT TO THE HOTEL TO UNPACK HIS STUFF.THEN HE WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE TO GET SOME BACON AND TURKEY.SO IT WAS GETTING PRETTY LATE SO THE GIANT WENT FOR A WALK AROUND THE BLOCK. SO HE WENT BACK INSIDE AND GO TO BED. BUT HE DID NOT FIT ON THE BED SO HE GOT HIS OWN MATTRES OUT OF HIS SUITCASE AND WENT BACK OUTSIDE AND PUT THE MATTRES ON THE SIDE WALK AND ¬†WENT TO BED FOR THE NIGHT. THE NEXT DAY HE WENT TO THE AIRPORT AND WAITED FOR HIS PLANE HEADING TO NY. THE PLANE FINALLY CAME AND HERODE BACK TO NY WHERE HIS HOME IS. HE WAS EXITED TO GET HOME BECAUSE IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY ON THE EXACT SAME DAY SO THERE BIGHT BE A SUPRISE PARTY WHEN HE GETS HOME… THE END

All caps to avoid capitalization errors. Genius. Who knew airplanes could fit giants on them? I suppose only ones headed to Turkey…and eating Turkey while in Turkey? Of course. Well, I’ll leave you all to ponder and read deeper into this story. Please feel free to share insights or feedback. I will share all appropriate comments with the author.

7 thoughts on “Don’t Bother Faking It, I’m A Sucker

  1. He gets a day off, the Giant takes a day vacay,he gets home and there is a party,I think Roan is expecting a party tonight…
    I loved reading his story and having the back story. See you next week.

  2. First of all, the Giant rode the airplane back to NY. (Not IN it, ON it. Duh.) Second, Thomas (Roan’s classmate) was sprung from school at lunchtime with a belly-ache. As soon as I signed him out he SKIPPED (!!) out of the school! I had to stop him right then and there and explain to him that it is NOT appropriate to start skipping until you are off the premises! He just kept on skipping. Another sucker mother in action.

  3. Hi it’s me Saomi.I like the story you wrote.How often do you go
    on your mom’s blog?

  4. I know my boys don’t “fake” being sick. I have a simple rule. Too sick for school then no electronics; no dvd’s, no computer, and no phone for the entire day including after school. I will let them listen to books on tape.

    That said, sometimes they just need a break or some quiet time with me. If they are not avoiding something at school like tests or homework due date, I let them stay home.

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