Object Permanence

As I’m watching my two baby boys learn life lessons that seem so obvious, I am also a witness to the profound nature of really believing them. I can hide an object, and my children are learning that though it is out of sight, it actually still exists. This is called Object Permanence. It is part science, part faith.

I have two friends, both writers and mothers. They have each suffered a loss that is unbearable. It is my intent to write something profound, meaningful and comforting, but all I can manage is one concept. Object Permanence. It is not going to make any of what they are experiencing any easier. It is not going to change the fact that they have each been forced to begin a journey on a terrifying terrain, one that will feel absolutely isolating and overwhelming. But possibly – this idea that things continue to exist, even when out of sight – possibly it can offer science and faith, enough to get them to the next day.

Jennifer and Alison – as part of a chorus of people who cannot fix what has happened, but who would give anything to lessen your burden, I understand that the phrase “I’m so sorry” is worth one penny when what you need is a trillion dollars. Yet it is the only currency we have as humans and friends – our words and our intent and our love. I know that are you each stronger than an army of soldiers and I also know that you are going to feel that you have no strength at all. You do have an army of friends and family who will lift you up at these times. We are permanent as well, and not hidden.

Your love still exists, though it is out of sight. Love is an object which is permanent. It does not have to be touched or tangible to be felt. You learned this in your infancy, and must continue to believe it as an adult.

Peace to you both.

8 thoughts on “Object Permanence

  1. Love and peace to Jennifer and Alison….

    Hearts have an incredible capacity for the depth and height of feelings. Surrender your hearts always.

    -From someone who has experienced the sorrow and unexpected gifts of having to let go in a big way.

  2. I am so sorry for both Alison and Jennifer. Although I don’t know them personally, I can’t get either of them out of my mind because I do, however, have an almost 3rd grader at 58 and I do have a husband and it could have been me, it seems, just as easily. I will keep these women in my thoughts and prayers always.

  3. I sometimes think there isn’t much grace left in this world, but there’s grace in this post. I’m not a parent and probably can’t even imagine the pain of losing a child. But I have lost loved ones, and it gives me some small comfort to believe “love still exists, though it is out of sight.”

  4. To everyone who is reading and who takes the time to comment, thank you. I want to clarify the post a little – I didn’t specify what happened to my friends because I was worried about their privacy. I feel at this point it is alright however to be a little more specific, and say that both of these women lost their husbands, unexpectedly and suddenly.

    I cannot imagine how they feel, but I am consumed by hope for them that they will find peace. Feel free to join me in that hope.

  5. True and so very well said Jodi. Thank you for forming these thoughts into words which the heart feels but finds so difficult to express.

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