Gratitude

Grateful for every pound of this turkey.

This past year has been full of me needing things from people. I mean – I have stretched thin the boundaries that most people would put up with their friends. From meals, to babysitting, to texts at all hours, making people look at various rashes, as well as giving no notice at all, hoping that someone could come through for me for all sorts of things. I have sometimes failed to meet the needs of my baby boys, I have sometimes failed my sweetheart of a seven-year-old, and often failed my husband. My friends? I don’t even fail them as they have given up any expectation of me doing anything at all for them. I am just shocked that they are still here. Even with caller ID they pick up the phone. I mean, they know it’s me calling.

And if I’m calling, it’s likely I need something.

And still they answer the phone.

Shocking.

Kara, who slays me down with sarcasm each chance she gets – Kara asked me once, “Is this the first time you’ve ever had friends?” It was her reaction to my effusive thanking her for yet another meal. I thought about it and realized that maybe? Yes? I mean, I’ve had great friends my whole life. I’ve always been fortunate enough to have some amazingly interesting folks surrounding me. And it’s probably true that if I needed anything from my friends of old, I would have been able to count on them. But I’ve never needed so much as I do these days, trying to ensure the survival of two babies, one seven-year-old, and one marriage. And certainly over the past 2 1/2 weeks, as Anson has been gone and I have had to reach into the reserves of all of my own abilities, I have never needed so much support and basic logistical help.

I’ve had meals brought over, I’ve had sidewalk conferences, I’ve had park outings with an Auntie, I’ve had my eldest walked to school every morning. And I’ve had the knowledge that if I need anything at all, I’ve a wealth of resources to make sure I can get it. Most importantly, I’ve had people I love witnessing all the amazing things that happen every day in this little world of mine. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to have nobody to share new steps the babies are taking, new words they are saying, and new ways they are interacting with Roan. Of all the things I am grateful for, this is the thing that matters most. I am so thankful that I am surrounded by friends and family who will spend time with me and who place value in the things that are important to me.

Thanksgiving and all the weird wrong ways that it came into being has never been all that sacred to me. But I can wholeheartedly get on board with taking a day to inventory the things that are right in our lives. The things that are simple and that matter the most. It isn’t a great job, a great house, a great car or any of the things that distract us that matter at all. I believe that it is family, friends and health that we need to focus on, to be grateful for and to celebrate. This year I have all three, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

6 thoughts on “Gratitude

  1. I always feel a little strange and conflicted about Thanksgiving. The holiday itself marks a time of embarrassing history for us Americans. But in the spirit of your writing, I also feel like I can celebrate the sentiment of gratitude as articulated by you:

    ” I can wholeheartedly get on board with taking a day to inventory the things that are right in our lives. ”

    Well said, and I am going to do just that.

  2. That Horrible Year makes this year’s faults look like a cakewalk. Or a Picnic. Or a walk in the park. Or a cake picnic at the park after a long walk.
    Thankful to be here now.
    Luv you

  3. Hey sweet lady, thanks for making me smile and cry every time I read your blog! You are awesome and although I am a friend from yesteryears, if you ever want me to come and hang with the boys while you nap, bathe, eat, drink, or hang out as well, I am a good silly face maker. I am not the most grown-up mommy type, but you are so cool that I would still do almost anything you might ever need me to. (I say almost because I know you have an amazing imagination and I’m a sucker for a dare.) Love you, Turkey Kisser!

  4. Guess who I met today.

    I went to H&M in Futakotamagawa/Tokyo with my daughter. There, from up on the wall, Roan and Sheppard(I think) smiled at us. In all their beauty. !I know them!, I yelled, and daughter was worried about my state of mind.

    I just needed to tell you ^-^ .
    Kind regards from a regular reader/lurker.

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