It is indisputable, it is like blue sky and gravity. The most profound change in my entire way of thinking, relating and being happened the day Roan was born. I don’t know if it is this way for everyone, but a primal switch was flipped in me and it absolutely altered who I was.
Being a mother is as common as leaves and sand and trees but such a supercharged superpower. Ever since Roan’s eyes looked into my eyes, I have literally been transfixed by all of its dimensions and meanings. Being Roan’s mother has carved my identity as an individual, as a person who can love, and as a woman so acutely, while at the same time it has softened my rough sharp unkind parts. They are all still there, part of who I am, but other things are more important. And the other things are much much more beautiful.
Roan turns eight years old today. I should probably be writing about him and I do feel totally self-indulgent in the telling of how my life has changed but you know? Roan should know. His life, how he is, who he is and all of his complex and informed innocent nuances have brought such joy to his mother. Profound, life-changing unimaginable joy.
My words could never describe Roan to the world, but I try to write about him as honestly as I can. I hope that in these collected stories here, there is a picture of a childhood being created, and one which will he can access in the future. I have no idea how he will remember his youth or how he sees this world. But I see Roan, and he is free, simple, complicated, wildly empathetic, funny, daring, sensitive and just one of the most beautiful creatures that I could ever hope to spend time with.
I love you Roan, happy eight birthday.