A few nights ago Roan announced that his 3rd grade teacher had made a declaration in class: everyone must start wearing deodorant. It was a Thursday which means they had gym that day and I do sympathize with a woman who has a class full of stinky sweaty boys and girls. That’s got to be tough and would certainly sway a person to believe that some of these children indeed should be left behind…
Roan could not have been more excited about this declaration. Ever since he saw Isaiah Mustafa in the Old Spice commercials, he’s been gunning to wear it. You’ve seen this, yes? I’ll embed it for people who haven’t. I mean – it is genius. I love it even now, after seeing it way too often.
Turns out that Roan wasn’t the only one who was dying to Old Spice it up. A few days later, when I was the designated responsible adult in charge of picking up Roan, two of his besties, Javier and Sachin, and his muse (I’ll have to write about that later) Anya, I had the brilliant idea of treating them all to their sticks of deodorant.
“You guys want to go buy the deodorant your teacher said you needed?”
(Now please imagine jumping around, limbs flailing wildly, whooping, hollering and such).
So it was decided.
On the walk to the drugstore, Roan excitedly told Sachin and Javier that he was going to get Old Spice. He kept saying, “I’m on a horse”. And they kept laughing. No back story, no build up, just “I’m on a horse.” Javier has an older brother whom I’m going to guess also wears Old Spice because Javier then announced that he too would get Old Spice but one-upped Roan by knowing which “flavor”. It would be Swagger.
I did not know that Old Spice had flavors.
The “Me too” chorus could not have come any faster or any louder and as we tumbled into CVS, the boys started racing to the deodorant isle. Anya hung back with me and seemed a little unimpressed. It’s not easy being a muse.
By the time I found the stinky boys they were all gripping their deodorants, reading the instructions, smelling it and excitedly nervously crazily moving about as if they were going to ride a rollercoaster for the first time. Sachin was miming how he would apply it, with all indications being that it would start with his feet, and end at the top of his head. Roan was wondering what it would taste like (which I cannot fault him for. It is the icy blue color of our favorite Ice-Pop) and Javier was casually snorting the scent with alarming gusto.
Obviously none of them wanted bags after we made our purchase. They proudly walked down the sidewalk, just three 8-year-old boys with their Old Spice. And as dumb wonderful luck would have it, we bumped into two classmates who got to see the glorious acquisitions. After some posturing, bragging, and another miming session of the future application, the classmates could be heard begging for their own Old Spice purchase. Seriously. I’ve not seen so much hype over any product save in the video game category.
Honestly, I don’t really think Roan needs to be wearing deodorant yet. But seeing the joy and unexpected status bump that Old Spice has brought into his life I cannot deny him the opportunity to smell like Isaiah Mustafa. After all, you can’t argue with a man holding a handfull of diamonds while riding a horse.