In case you’re wondering, if your child takes a fall from a distance of higher than two feet, and hits their head, a doctor’s visit is in order.
This is what I found out no more than fifteen minutes ago.
And guess where little Sheppard Nelson Call gets to go today! To the doctor!
I’m writing this in-between sessions of smacking my own self in my own self’s head because Shepz fell off the kitchen counter today and gravity, ever constant in her threatening behavior towards my progeny, pulled his body right onto that hard tile floor. I saw it pretty much in slow motion because as Mother of The Year I turned around just in time to watch but do nothing. Obviously his father put him up on the counter and turned away because Mother of The Year would never be that dumb dumb. (This part of the story may be fictionalized slightly.)
After the initial freak out, Shep was acting totally normal – playing, laughing, singing, finding my fat parts and pinching them (I do not know why he does that but he does. Makes me laugh and feel self-conscious at the same time). So I was fairly confident that all was well but since his ear was a little purple (a bruised ear! Yay Mother of The Year!) I was also kind of forced to acknowledge that he smacked his head pretty hard so I called the doctor.
I’m not entirely certain that her pause after hearing that he sits on the counter every morning as I fix breakfast because that’s basically the only place he wants to be was a judgement, or maybe she was taking a bite of a sandwich. I mean, I know it’s not a safe place but usually he sits with his feet in the sink, splashing everything and allowing me the time I need to do the one million things that need to be done within arms-reach of him. But today I blew it, and gave the boy more space than I should have and bah. Hopefully not a cracked skull. People won’t “like” a cracked skull on Instagram now, will they?
Not to be outdone, about two hours later, while playing downstairs in the cribs, Smitty demonstrated a just-learned brand new trick that I did not see, but fear with all my heart. Roan was playing hide-behind-the-curtain-peek-a-boo with him. And Peek! Smitty is jumping in the crib screaming with laughter! And Boo! Smitty is sitting on the floor, a little stunned, outside the crib.
Anyone know a good source for Toddler-sized armor and 24/7 wearable helmets?
[Update: Shep has been given a clean bill of health by the doctor, who explained that his ear acted as a sort of bumper. Dang, can I make good ears or what?? She also suggested I look into installing seat belts on my countertops.]