Career Suggestions for the Unemployable


Too Much Sugar?

“Dad!  An auctioneer!  Auc-tion-eeeeeeeer-ing!!”

These words came out of my nephew Boone’s mouth last night as I arrived at my sister’s house.  Boone was jumping from his bedroom floor to the living room table (we can do these kind of things in our limited-space homes in Brooklyn) and was clearly on white-hot fire about an idea.  I can only guess a conversation was happening prior to my arrival regarding employment and Boone’s dad, Dan.  Maybe a conversation wherein my sister, in her Nelson-Girl style was gently suggesting that Dan start looking for work outside of his entrepreneurial comfort zone.  On a side note, if you’re not married to one of The Nelson Girls, or one of our kind, be just a little grateful.  Because just then….where I said “gently suggesting”?  That actually means we are the bossy bosses of our beleaguered husbands and while they all know it and deal with it in their own ways, each man married to a Nelson girl has a special burden to bear.  Anyway – I can only assume Lori was talking to Dan about him going into the world, in this economy, and getting some work with The Man.

Dan has been more successful in his own business endeavors than anyone I know.  He’s an amazing idea man, and has a brain that comes up with things that even when spoken SLOWLY and LOUDLY to me make no sense, but do make money.  Still, even with Dan’s Midas Touch, his family is suffering the same lean reality as most people…in this economy.  And while Dan is easily one of the most intelligent men I know, he (like Anson!) is a High School Dropout.  This fact is not lost on Boone, who was carefully sculpting ideas for his dad’s next professional styling.

“Auctioneers,” Boone began “only really have to know how to talk.”

“I can do that,” agreed Dan.

“Really fast, though Dad.” Boone cautioned, and then continued on with the hard sell, “And you’re really good on eBay”

“True.  I’ve been on eBay a lot and can buy almost anything.” Dan honestly seemed to be considering this idea.

“And the best thing is that you don’t have to have a college degree, or even a High School Diploma to be an auctioneer!” Boone was triumphant, if only a little condescending.

It was a beautiful thing, this career advice earnestly being given from a son to his father.  Possibly Dan doesn’t quite quite have the right stuff to make it as an auctioneer, but how lovely that his son can craft dreams for him.  Is there anything your kids are hoping you can be?  Anything you hoped your parents would make the professional jump to be?  I remember lying to friends that my mother was a nurse, and that my father was the King of a small country.  That was around the 1st grade, Roan’s age now.  Dreaming of a nursing-royalty combo isn’t quite as practical as dreaming of auctioneering, but still a dream.  Anyone else?

7 thoughts on “Career Suggestions for the Unemployable

  1. When I was younger and my dad was on the Fire Department, but he hadn’t yet signed up for a Paramedics class I told everyone my dad was a Doctor! But now he runs his own clinic, so I am proud of him knowing that his career makes him happy…most of the time!

  2. Re: This comment from “V”

    “HA! thanks to reading this blog entry a few days ago, I was just *that* much more informed this morning when, on the drive in to work, heard the preview of “The Story” with Dick Gordon on NPR. Wherein he discusses the circumstances surrounding his guest today, “Fatcyclist” his bike ride with Armstrong, and the day his sister Jodi texted him about a tweet. I felt so privileged LOL”

    Elden didn’t even know that was on today!! Thanks for the heads-up! I just listened to the piece – totally amazing and so proud of him! Check it out here:

    Thanks – Jodi

  3. Cute on Tuesday, not so cute by Thursday.

    Boone’s really driving Dan crazy now.

    In other news? Yay for our brother from the same mother!

  4. When I was younger I would pretend that I was adopted, and that my real parents were in the circus. Usually they took the form of the beautiful fortune teller and the strong lion tamer, but at other times, I’d fancy they were clowns. It was only later, in my teenage years that I finally let go of the hope of a secret adoption. I know I’m a weirdo.

  5. I always believed that my mother was secretly some type of secret agent. She was a stay-at-home mother, which I unconditionally held faith in being untrue. I couldn’t believe that she would just be at home during the day, I thought there had to be more. The only thing that made sense was a Charlie’s Angel’s type of agent. I’m still not entirely sure that it’s not true.

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