Today my family is headed to The Happiest Place on Earth, Disney World. It’s a trip that instigated a countdown once it was revealed my people were sending us there. I’m the one counting down. Ok, Roan is too, but he’s not actually more excited than me. I’d say it’s sixes. We are equally stoked, and that stoked looks like an 11 on a scale of 1 – 10. We’ve never really taken a family vacation, with just Anson, Roan and me. And we’ve never been to Disney World and we’ve never needed to look forward to some good times together as much as we have needed to in the past few months. This was the design of my friends and family with this gift; to give us something to focus on as a family in this month and particularly this week, when our baby would have been due.
I’ve been asked a lot lately how I’m doing. I guess there isn’t one answer. Or maybe there is, if I don’t over think it, and it is that I’m doing really well. I think about this little boy baby every single day, but no longer feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest or that my head has no gravity. I look back with compassion for myself and have even begun to be able to replay the happy scenes of being pregnant with him. It was impossible for me to connect with any positive feelings about that whole time until recently. But I just don’t think that’s fair, because there were good things before there were bad.
So we will be staying at The Caribbean, which is located inside the Disney World Empire. We have tickets to go to the parks every day, and we even have a dining plan, as suggested by my readers who have done this thing before. The hotel reportedly has a fake beach, one where Roan is looking forward to doing his homework. He’s obviously on fire about going to Disney, but he’s also lit up about missing school. He loves school. But he also loves the privilege of missing it, and the idea of doing the mundane in an extraordinary setting. I have heretofore (and hopefully hereinafter, henceforth and henceforward…thanks for making me get my thesaurus out, Leroy) resisted planning anything for any given day. I’m pretty sure the place is designed for happy times regardless of where you are, so I’m sacrificing my need to organize for a more laissez-faire experience. Hopefully I don’t explode.
I’m certain that I will want to write while we’re there, but am not promising that I will. Could be that I’ll be occupied getting beads woven into my hair, getting my face painted, or stalking Prince Charming. I have no idea. I do, however, have an idea about how lucky I am to be given this gift by the people who are around me. I am thankful beyond what I can describe, even with the help of my thesaurus. To my friends, I say thank you a million billion zillion times.