I woke up at around three in the morning, because my mom-conscious heard Roan. I don’t wake up for many things, but if Roan so much as changes his breathing pattern from three rooms away, I log it – even as I chase dinosaurs drinking whiskey naked, with teeth falling out all over the place. The dream doesn’t stop, I don’t wake up fully, but I know the boy is out there, and is being kept track of in part of my head. So I heard some rustling around in the kitchen and my body obeyed the rules I’ve set in place, that I must continue to be that child’s mother, even at three in the morning.
My apartment here in Brooklyn is gigantic, so it took me a while to get to the kitchen. It must have taken me a good eight seconds to walk the seven steps from my bedroom through the living room and finally into the kitchen. It was empty, no sign of a child causing mischief, and in fact his door was closed. I walked into Roan’s room and he was snoring. He’s not quite clever enough yet to fake-snore, so I walked out, and began the long journey back to the north wing of our estate.
Once my head hit the pillow, I heard the same noise. This time I didn’t have to disconnect from the whiskey-drinking dinosaur. I was up and in the kitchen and still no child. Then the sound again….scratch, scratch, rustle, rustle, SCREAM!! No, no, there was no scream but I freaked you out a little, right? Anyway, these sounds were coming from the wall or the ceiling, I couldn’t really pin-point them, and wasn’t inclined to because there was a drunk dinosaur waiting to play strip-poker with me in my dreams.
When we all woke up the next morning and were eating breakfast, the sounds came again, from exactly the same place. Roan was fascinated by the noise, and I told him I thought an animal was trapped in there. He quickly named his favorite choices. Perhaps we have a chicken in the wall? No? An alligator? No. Is it possible a lost kitten or puppy has found its way into our wall and we could keep them? I didn’t have the heart to venture my guess that a mouse, rat or squirrel is trapped in our wall and that it is going to die and stink up this place. Instead I offered that our upstairs neighbor has possibly gotten a new pet, and they are keeping them in a cage on their floor, and that is what we’re hearing.
So now Roan has begun a campaign to contact every neighbor in the building and find out if they have a pet. He has started drawing pictures to post in the foyer of animals trapped in walls, and using his magical s
pelling, writes, “Ho evr had u pet” (Who ever had a pet), implying that you had a pet, and now your pet is in our wall.
I don’t really know what to do about this. I asked our Superintendent about it and he offered that maybe an animal crawled in from outside, but little else. I’m all for collecting information, but I’m more interested in where is it going? More specifically, where is it going out of my house?? Is there a solution? Do we start cutting holes in our walls? And if we do, what other carcasses will be in there? Or will some crazy rabid animal jump out and then what?? Who in the room is going to be the hero? Not me, homie. Possibly the wall is exactly the right place for the guy.
Stay tuned for further adventures of Life in the Wild, Brooklyn style. Any ideas or advice is welcome. Please do it before this things dies.