Out of nowhere, I received an email from the Discovery Channel. Ummm….that was exciting, because I love the Discovery Channel. I was hoping maybe Jaime Hyneman or Adam Savage from Mythbusters had intuited that my family was bingeing on episode after episode of their series and they maybe wanted to say, “Hey, thanks for the support! Come visit us! We’ll let you blow something up.” And then I would put the computer down, put my helmet and Kevlar vest on, and be on my way.
Alas, it was not, but it was an invitation. I was invited to screen an episode of “Construction Intervention“. The episode chosen for my eyes was based in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Red Hook, which I can walk to from my cute little hood of Carroll Gardens. And though I’m a little, “uhhhh….hmmmm” because the title has the word “Construction” in it, I still think well that’s nice for Discovery Channel to care what I think so, YES. CHOOSE ME, I WILL WATCH, AND I WILL REPORT BACK!
Construction Intervention is a new series which seems to be going for the union of “Extreme Home Makeover” and “Hell’s Kitchen”. But instead of mean foul-mouthed Gordon Ramsey or impossibly cute and sweet Ty Pennington, you get gravel-voiced Charlie Frattini. He’s Brooklyn through and through (Which honestly I just love. These gruff Brooklyn dudes with hearts-of-gold? Cute as a button. I wanna pinch his cheeks.) He’s backed up by a team of blue-collar loyalists, the most endearing being a guy named Beaman who says Frattini gives him “uplifting words” as you hear Frattini losing it in the background. Classic.
The premise of the show brings a dream-team of construction workers, contractors, designers, expeditors, architects and whoever else works in the industry (have I mentioned I know nothing of construction? Can you believe I know what an “expeditor” is?) together to swoop in and save a small businesses who are trapped in construction nightmares. The Red Hook business to be saved was a wine store called Botta Di Vino. The plot is summarised thusly:
Charlie helps newlyweds Jeff and Triciann who are broke and frustrated after spending this past year and their life savings trying to open dream wine shop in Red Hook Brooklyn New York.
So I can get behind that. I’ve been a small business owner, I’ve been a newlywed, I’ve been broke, and I’ve been frustrated. But the result – newlyweds Jeff and Triciann just do not do a thing for my heartstrings which are seriously dying to be plucked. I want to care about them and be happy for this big rescue, but what comes across is a couple who has wasted the past year and over $30,000 on essentially arguing with each other, and putting their contractor in the middle of things. Jeff and Triciann kind of make me a little cuckoo.
Still – Construction Intervention has actually very little to do with the story of Jeff and Triciann, and gets its momentum from Frattini. He is overbearing (at one point demanding that a vendor look him in the eyes, actually pulling his face towards him. Awkward.) and he is dramatic but if I had a need to be saved from a construction k-hole, I’d totally want to have Team Frattini behind me. He seems to have an answer to every set back, and does absolutely know what a deadline is. How often does that actually happen in construction?
Construction Intervention: Botta Di Vino will air Friday night, May 07, at 10:00 EST pm, on the Discovery Channel. I’ve seen signs around the corner from my house where they’re filming a new episode taking place in this pharmacy that has been closed for years and years. I’d say it’s safe to say I may be hooked on this show because I’m sort of stalking the scene – we’ll see if they invite me back to screen another one. Let me know what you think of the series, and if you get a chance to watch this episode, let me know if you take it in the same way I did.
[In other “Huh? Really? Why you?” news – I’ve been invited to interview Musician and Actor and all around awesomeness Common next week. I’m planning on asking him if he’ll run away with me. Check back for the results.]